Eternity is a lonely word
by Len.chan
Summary: "And what about eternity? What if I find that someone and want to keep them forever?" Based on that little moment in 3x17 when Lafontaine catches Carmilla stroking Laura's hair.


_Notes:_

 _This is a bit rushed and unbetaed', so all mistakes are mine. Feel free to leave comments on the matter and I'll do everything on my hand to fix the mistakes. Thank you for reading!_

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 **Eternity is a lonely word**

When you're a centuries old creature of the night it should be expected that love, or at least the concept that humans have of love, wouldn't mean anything to you anymore. Human love, _mortal_ love, has an expiring date. It can be passionate, exhilarating, tender, giving, It can be everything at once, but never everlasting. It was one of the first lessons you should have learned as a vampire, but it wasn't until much later, after crawling out of the earth again, that you understood what Mattie said once during one of her visits just a couple of years before Ell showed in your life.

" _Humans are fleeting creatures, as it is their love. They burn their minds and their hearts and everything that dares to stay in their way, trying to grasp as much as their insignificant and short lives let them. And even if, someday, you find a human crazy enough to give their heart completely to you, that love will only last as long as their heart beats. The moment it stops, you'll be alone with your misery. But, of course, that's the best case scenery."_

" _And what about eternity? What if I find that someone and want to keep them forever?"_

" _Darling..." She laughed wholeheartedly. "If you find that person it will be even worse. Eternity and death will always go hand in hand, and your precious stone heart wouldn't survive sacrificing the soul of your beloved for an uncertain promise of happiness. But you're such a romantic that it wouldn't surprise me if you enjoyed the heartbreak and despair that it would bring to your life. "_

By the time you found Ell, the conversation with your sister had already slipped from your mind. In fact, you weren't thinking about anything else but Ell and how to keep her safe and out of Mother's reach. In the end, it didn't matter.

You spent decades inside a coffin full of blood, betrayed, heartbroken and full of anger. The horrors of the war weren't anything compared with the massacre that followed your freedom.

Any humanity you had left after you were turned, stayed buried in that field.

That's why the fluttering of your _dead_ heart caught you completely by surprise.

 _Even you deserve better_ , Laura had said, and you could swear that the rock that once was your ticker hammered against your chest with the strength of hundred of wild horses. It was inconvenient, unacceptable and complete madness.

Stupid, naïve little girl. Too brave and stubborn for her own good. So bright that was starting to light on fire even the darkest parts of your soul.

And just like that, you were doomed.

Laura was nothing like Ell, yet you were sure that Mother had chosen her to torture you. She knew about your little rebellions and her levels of cruelty had only increased with the years, but she didn't count on the cupcake resilient nature. Laura was a force to be reckoned, an unstoppable force that hit you, shook you to your roots and made you smile again.

You tried to forbid your heart to feel anything, you reminded the damned organ again and again that the word _love_ had been long banished from your vocabulary, but that little bastard came alive every time that Laura looked at you. Every single time.

What were you supposed to do? Let Mother offer her as a human sacrifice?

Certainly, it would have been less troubling for you. You wouldn't have retrieved a sword and tried to kill a god with it. You wouldn't have fled from school to fight villagers with pitches and forks and crazy witches trying to eat you. You wouldn't have lost Mattie.

You wouldn't have lost your mind in pain and heartbreak until you found the same reflected in Laura's eyes the moment she saved you.

She wouldn't have killed a man to save a monster.

She wouldn't have lost herself.

In that fleeting moment, you remembered.

 _And what about eternity?_

That thought has stayed with you since then. It crosses your mind every time she looks at you, devastated and empty, when you hear her crying in the middle of the night, with every crazy little crafting project that she starts, with every stolen touch that ignites your skin and every shy smile that dares to reach her lips.

 _Eternity._

You know now, without any doubt, that Laura is your person, the one you want to keep forever.

You can hear Mattie laughing in your head.

Laura's hair is soft and you can hear the faint sound of her beating heart while she sleeps.

How could you even think about turning this creature made of light into someone like you? How could you survive the guilt?

Raising your eyes you catch Lafontaine staring at you with a funny expression in their face.

"...personal boundaries?"

You retreat your hand and try to act nonchalantly.

"There were cobwebs."


End file.
